I was inspired today by the story of Alice Herz-Sommer, the oldest known holocaust survivor who died today. She was a truly inspirational woman who, despite the horrors she must have endured in a Nazi concentration camp, remained positive and said, "whether life is good or not depends on me." Alice talked about how music saved her life and her sanity during those dark times. An Oscar-nominated documentary by Malcolm Clarke and Nicholas Reed "The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life tells the story of the concerts that Herz-Sommer, a pianist, and others performed in concentration camps to lift the spirits of prisoners."

http://oscar.go.com/nominees/documentary-short-subject/the-lady-in-number-6-music-saved-my-life

The film's creators added that:

"Despite all that has befallen her, Alice insists that she has never, ever hated the Nazis, and she never will. Some see in her tolerance and compassion a secular saint who has been blessed with the gift of forgiveness, but Alice is far more pragmatic — she has seen enough in her life to know all too well that hatred eats the soul of the hater, not the hated."


Alice's story reminded me of another story of courage from a man who also survived a concentration camp, Viktor Frankl. In his book "Man's Search for Meaning,"  he says, when talking about being a prisoner,  "Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him-mentally and spiritually. If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity-even under the most difficult circumstances-to add a deeper meaning to his life."


Remember what David Steindl-Rast said (December 4 blog, this is the secret to happiness) "The key to happiness is living gratefully. Becoming aware that every moment is a gift to you. The moment and all it's opportunity is the gift within the gift given to everyone everyday."

Follow the link below to read the whole story about Alice
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/24/281965889/oldest-known-holocaust-survivor-dies-pianist-was-110?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=share&utm_medium=facebook


Be grateful for every moment you have and appreciate the gift of life you have been given.

When I couldn't sleep in the early hours of this morning the song from the 70's by Jim Croce, "If I Could Save Time in a Bottle," came to mind. My son has been struggling this past week and I have been trying to figure out how to help him without losing myself and the boundaries I have set up. I know this song is dedicated more to a couple than a mother and child, but I found the words profoundly moving. Of course I didn't remember them all in the early hours this morning, but enough to remember it had wonderful words.

If I Could Save Time in a Bottle--Jim Croce

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

As he often does, my son has struggled this week wondering if life is worth living. I always try to assure him that life truly is worth living and that he is a unique individual who has much to offer the world.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”
― Martha Graham

I found it fascinating that the section of my book I am editing this week deals with this issue, and sadly I still don't know what to do when it happens.

When he displayed severe depression I checked on him every twenty minutes, afraid of what he might do. I didn’t want him to isolate himself in his room. It seemed as if his future was disappearing, and nothing I did would be enough to stop him from destroying himself. How could I prevent the onslaught of pain that I could see coming, pain for Matthew and pain for us? 

There are no words to describe the fear that gripped me day after day, the absolute knowledge I had that if I did not react quickly, my child would be dead by his own hand; of this I was absolutely sure. I wanted to flee from my life and the course it was taking.

Every day became a day to dread. Every day was a day I agonized over. Every day grew worse than the one before. Each morning since Matthew had come back from the hospital, I dragged myself out of bed and the same thought dominated my mind, would today be the day I found Matthew dead? With shaking hands I dressed and braced myself for whatever I might find. Biting my lip, I climbed the stairs to his room. I would stand on the landing, give myself a mental pep talk, take a deep breath, grit my teeth, and enter his room. My willpower to do this was slowly dissipating, but somehow I managed to find the strength and courage to continue.
  




Life may be difficult and there are times when you feel there is no point, but always know that it will pass and things do get better with time.

I apologize to anyone who has written a comment and it appeared that I did not respond. I have responded to everyone and for some reason many were not being posted, so I contacted the website and asked where the comments were and I discovered that many had gone to the blog spam. I have found them and I hope posted them all. Please keep your comments flowing. I appreciate them and will try to respond to each of them. Thank you for your support.

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.”--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have been reading a fascinating book called "For the Benefit of Those Who See" by Rosemary Mahoney. She writes a memoir about her time at Braille Without Borders, the first school for the blind in Tibet, where she spent three months teaching. I am going to write more about the book when I have finished reading it, but the story so far has made me wonder why we are so judgmental as human beings. Mahoney writes "most human beings are attracted by beauty, that we make quick judgments about people based on their appearances, but that for blind people this sort of superficial judgment simply isn't an issue."  "A blind person's reason isn't clouded by appearances. We have to focus on personality, which is the real essence of the person. It can be an advantage for us."--Sabriye Tenberken founder of Braille Without Borders

Is it ours eyes that are judging others or our mind? Do we assume we know someone and what they are going through in their lives just by looking at how they live and what they do? Remember that you never know what is going on behind closed doors. It is easy to judge others by what we see, but we only see what they allow us to see.

I know I am guilty of judging others just by looking at them. Maybe instead of judging others I should look inward at who I am and how I can be a better person.


“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”-- Carl Gustav Jung