Blog Archives

Mental Health Awareness

6/30/2014

http://valueoptions.com/

"ValueOptions® Inc., the nation's largest independent behavioral health care and wellness company, specializes in management for all behavioral health issues, and mental health and chemical dependency diagnoses. Our work is driven by our guiding principle of improving behavior to improve health with clinically appropriate and cost-effective solutions that advocate and promote good behavioral health, as well as help proactively manage wellness and disease."

I came across this website several years ago when looking for information on mental health facilities. The site has morphed into a behavioral healthcare company and it links to another very interesting site.

http://stampoutstigma.com/

"One in four adults will face a mental illness in a given year. More than 22 million people have a substance use disorder. Even if you are not living with a mental illness or substance use disorder, you can make a lasting impact by speaking up for those who do. Take the pledge and vow to Stamp Out Stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction."

Mental illness is not something people want to talk about, but speaking out and educating ourselves on mental health is important and can change lives. I am wearing one of these bracelets to stamp out stigma and plan to give away others I have ordered. They say "recognize, reeducate, reduce," a powerful set of words in the fight to stamp out the stigma of mental illness.

Please check out the websites and learn about mental health, you never know who you will be able to help.

June 26th, 2014

6/26/2014

Animal Rights, give them respect.

6/23/2014

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Mahatma Gandhi

I saw this wonderful site posted on facebook the other day showing multiple pictures of people helping animals and treating them with respect. It made me think of how humans have an ethical responsibility to look after our planet and those creatures in it.

Check out the site below for more amazing animals.

http://pansypanda.com/people-amazing-animals/

Talking to Teenagers

6/20/2014

It's something most parents fear. The time when their sweet, innocent children turn into teenagers. It doesn't have to be feared, it has to be planned. Preparation is the key in having a relationship with your teenager.

The book in the picture, "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk," by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is one that I found very helpful. The blurb inside the front cover says, "Parents will discover: how to express their irritation or anger without being hurtful, ways to respond helpfully to their teenagers' concerns, skills that encourage a teen to cooperate and assume responsibility, alternatives to punishment that help teens face their misbehaviors and make amends, how to resolve conflicts peacefully, and how to take advantage of small opportunities to talk about sex and drugs."

That is a lot of information. The book is laid out in a simple, easy to read way that even includes cartoon dialogue. I found the section on feelings particularly helpful. They state, "Instead of dismissing feelings, identify thoughts an feelings. Instead of ignoring feelings, acknowledge feelings with a word or sound. Instead of logic and explanations, give in fantasy what you can't give in reality. Instead of going against your better judgment, accept feelings as you redirect unacceptable behavior."

CNN journalist Kelly Wallace wrote an article recently about talking to teens. The part of the article I liked best was about learning to keep your mouth shut long enough to listen.

"The second grave error parents make, Vicki Hoefle, author of the book 'Duct Tape Parenting,' said, is we talk too much. We need to, quite simply, shut up, and maybe 'put duct tape over' our mouths.

'It's like, Oh my god, do you just have to be so smart all the time? Can't you give your kid a chance to be the smartest one in the room? And there's an attitude about stepping back and allowing your child to be the star in the show. That's what secures you a place in the next conversation.'"

I often find in my own household that if I admit I don't know the answer to something my teens might be asking, it goes a long way to communicating authentically with them. Rather than always trying to solve their problems, when I don't know what to say, I admit I don't know what to say. They accept that answer easier than I thought they would.
Don't be afraid to talk to your teens. They need to communicate with you even if they don't know it yet. To read all of Kelly Wallace's article click on the link below.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/19/living/talking-to-teens-communication-parents/index.html

June 18th, 2014

6/18/2014

Technology overload

6/16/2014

The valedictorian of my daughter's high school graduating class was featured in an article in the local news, Class Acts: Class of 2014 All-Stars. As an eighteen year old male he is enlightened about technology and it's effect on youth today. In the article he was asked, What is the greatest challenge facing his generation: "The proper usage and integration of technological advancements."--Siddharth Yarlagadda

I found it refreshing that a youth of today is self-aware enough to understand that too much technology is too much. We live in a society where everything is expected perfectly and instantaneously. However, we are still human beings with faults. It's impossible for us to know everything and apply it flawlessly.

We are deceived into thinking that computer-like responses are possible by the entertainment media in movies such as Iron Man. Tony Stark seems to have a mind that can multi-task as well as a computer. He can fly through the sky, while processing and choosing ten different items on his visual display. This is an impossibility, of course so is flying in a robotic suit, but for some reason that seems more likely in the future. The only way we could process information with that speed and accuracy would be to have a computer chip implanted in our brains, and I hope that is never likely.

An article in the Huffington Post by Martha Irvine, addresses this subject of technology overload.

"John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist says to develop a reputation for being responsive, but not hyper-responsive. He sets those limits himself — has given up Facebook and generally answers emails or texts from colleagues or students within half a day, if it's nothing too urgent. If you make yourself available all the time, people come to expect it even more, he says.

'And the more responsive you are, the more trivial things you get queried about.'

Leah Jones, a 35-year-old Chicagoan, says you also have to let yourself off the hook and resist the urge to constantly check in to see what friends are doing.

Social networking 'makes it seem like everybody's doing something awesome,' she says. 'But you can't always worry about what other people are doing.

You have to give yourself permission to miss out.'"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/28/tech-overload_n_2034875.html

Another article in the Huffington Post, by Dino Grandoni describes a segment on The Daily Show about Google Glass, you know those glasses you wear that receive all of your data from your phone right in front of your eyes. The interview was meant to be tongue and cheek, but the premise is true.

"But there's something even more annoying about Glassholes, and correspondent Jason Jones got to the heart of exactly what that is.

'Let's put aside that these glasses are just [beep] stupid,' he told a group of people wearing Glass. 'What is it about this that seems like it's too much for you?' he said while pretending to look down at his cell phone.

'The best uses of Glass today are apps where it acts as an interface between you and the real world,' one of the Glass Explorers responded.

'Do you guys hear yourselves when you talk?' Jones said. 'An interface between you and the real world? Those are called eyes.'"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/13/google-glass-daily-show_n_5491565.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

I encourage you to click on the link below or above and watch the full five minute segment. It is very interesting and also humorous.

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/w95a3v/glass-half-empty

Don't go through life missing out on events and data that is right in front of your eyes, your own eyes, not those produced by a computer. By present in your life and find time to "power down" from the world around you.

June 11th, 2014

6/11/2014

June 09th, 2014

6/9/2014

Full Circle

6/6/2014

I wrote recently about existentialism and decided to follow up with an excerpt on how my son coped after dwelling on existentialism with his counselor. We decided to move him from the psychiatric facility he had been in for thirteen months to one that was closer to home.

“No one will ever be able to keep me safe,” were the final words Matthew uttered during our conversation, a phrase we had heard before.

Matthew was back to delusional thinking and questioning life almost daily. All the progress he made slowly slipped away.

I decided for Matthew’s long-term care it would benefit him to be close to home, and despite my apprehension, the best location for him to recover was where he started, UNC.

We told Matthew he would move him from Life View to UNC on October 28. I arranged for the same transport service to escort him to Florida.

Matthew was excited to relocate at the end of the month. His mood significantly changed after he was told of his upcoming return to Florida.

Kathy was cautious and said, “Improvements in mood should be viewed with caution, as he will likely return to a depressed state once the realization sets in that he continues to be in residential treatment.” (Life View discharge summary)

Life View kept Matthew on suicide precautions until his discharge, “as he becomes high risk when experiencing change.” (Precaution Review Note, Life View)

The last recreational therapy activity Matthew participated in was Halloween pumpkin carving. Matthew smiled as he agreed to keep himself safe with the carving tools and remembered that this was the first activity he engaged in when he arrived at Life View, and here he was participating in it again 376 days later.

Thursday October 28 at five p.m., Erik and I sat in the lobby of UNC awaiting Matthew and his transport team. We looked around and then looked at each other, having the same thought, crap here we are again!

Matthew entered through the two locked doors. We had come full circle.

The free dictionary describes coming full circle as "to return to the same situation or attitude you originally had."

To come full circle can have a negative or a positive connotation. It's what you choose to do with the situation that matters. If you use "starting at the beginning" as a learning tool, it can give you immense strength.

Matthew changed within four months from saying, "No one will ever be able to keep me safe," to an enlightened and motivated young man.

When he finally left full-time psychiatric treatment after seventeen arduous months, he wrote this in his journal--

“A single reason to continue on this path I have made for such a long time has left me completely. Now I find myself searching for what used to be, instead of what should be. Lost and confused, I stagger back and forth for a while, trying to find my balance. The initial shock has kicked in and a life with this, this lack of what I depended on, is flashing before my eyes. At first glance I yearn for my satisfaction once again. I want to cradle my obsession and love my obsession, but leaving impulse behind requires me to think forwardly and consequentially. The potential my life now holds is not fathomable. I am slowly beginning to realize what this has held me from becoming, that I am capable of achieving all my aspirations. That the monster that has festered for, it seems like an eternity, inside of me can be tamed, and being held back from the true self will only cause me to bask in the reality that is me. Relishing every moment I succeed.”--Matthew’s journals

Relish every moment you succeed. Starting over doesn't mean starting from nothing. Tools for growth and enlightenment are all around. Grab one and use it wisely.

Is media to blame for youth violence?

6/4/2014

I was shocked by the story of the two twelve year old girls who stabbed their "friend" in the woods and left her for dead. Raising teenagers has always been a difficult road, but with the explosion of technology it is now more challenging than ever. It becomes increasingly complicated to monitor your children and teens when they enter cyberspace.

Is the media and unlimited access to violent images to blame?

CNN correspondent, Kelly Wallace addressed this issue in her recent article.

"According to Jim Steyer, chief executive officer and founder of the nonprofit child advocacy group Common Sense Media, 'What you see is kids who are at risk for violent actions or depression or anxiety and who feel those feelings more strongly can sometimes be motivated to act on them by images and stories in the media.'

'I think that the research is clear that there is a correlation between repetitive viewing of violence, for example, and increased aggressive behavior, as well as desensitization to violence,' he said.

No one is blaming the media, Steyer said, but, 'We're also not saying it doesn't matter, because it does matter.'

'This is an issue and an ongoing issue. It's been true for many years. In a 24/7 digital media universe, it's that much more prevalent because it's so much harder to monitor.'

That raises the question of what parents can do, especially when it seems impossible to know everything our children are doing online.

Warning signs for parents that their children may be having trouble absorbing what they're engaging with online, or differentiating fantasy from reality, include withdrawing from real friends, not engaging with other aspects of their lives, self-injury and injury to others, experts say.

Steyer of Common Sense Media said the takeaway from this latest tragedy is the need for every parent to talk with their children, but he concedes that isn't always enough.

'I think that the key is you need to have an ongoing dialogue with your kids and learn what they're doing, and what they're watching, surfing and playing with and you can't always unearth everything,' Steyer said.

'You try to be involved. You try to set context. You try to know, but it's not easy," he added. "You can't blame the parents. There's no one factor involved. There's no one simple factor.' "

Follow the link below to read the entire article by Kelly Wallace.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/03/living/slenderman-stabbing-questions-for-parents/index.html

Watch for warning signs. In my October 25 blog I wrote about why our youth are killing in schools and quoted Phil Chalmers author of Inside the Mind of a Teen Killer, "kids give off warning signs and there are things you could look for. He says bullying and unstable homes are top reasons why teens commit crime. The teen may also display suicidal feelings or become obsessed with violent media."

There's the media again.

An excerpt from Phil Chalmers book says,

"Take, for example, a teen fascinated with violent video games, which, by itself, my not a pose a great risk. If he is, however, physically abused at home, bullied at school, and using drugs, then playing a violent video game or watching a movie may act as the catalyst that causes him to fall over the edge.

I've determined ten common things behind the making of violent and murderous teens.

     1. An abusive home life and bullying

     2. Violent entertainment and pornography

     3. Anger, depression, and suicide

     4. Drug and alcohol abuse

     5. Cults and gangs

     6. Easy access to and fascination with deadly weapons

     7. Peer pressure

     8. Poverty and criminal lifestyle

     9. Lack of spiritual guidance and appropriate discipline

    10. Mental illness and brain injuries"

This does not mean every child exposed to certain problems or those with mental illness will go out and become a killer. It is a combination of multiple things in multiple situations. An ordinary kid doesn't wake up one day and say, "I'm going to go kill someone." It is a process, like everything else in life.

Our teens need guidance and validation. They often suffer from the inablility to make rational decisions and the lack of a qualified support system. Be there for you teen and support them, don't leave them adrift to fend for themselves.

Check out Phil Chalmers informative website at http://www.philchalmers.com/index.php

Maya Angelou

6/2/2014

I wanted to write something about Maya Angelou since her passing and haven't been able to figure out what to write. Then I was looking through my past blogs and realized I quoted her on April 22. Her words are profound, so here they are again.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya Angelou