Blog Archives

Residential Treatment Center part 3

10/31/2014

When I couldn't handle the severity of my sons mental health issues I had to turn to experts for help. However, most of the, so called, experts weren't even sure where to send him, so I had to do my own research.

My son spent several months at a facility associated with www.uhsinc.com (Universal Health Services, Inc.) According to their site, "Universal Health Services, Inc. is one of the country's largest and most respected hospital management companies and is headquartered in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. Through its subsidiaries, UHS owns and operates more than 225 acute care hospitals, behavioral health facilities and ambulatory centers nationwide, in the U.S. Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico."

Is UHS the perfect place to sent your child or teen when they are having problems? Is there really a perfect place? No and no. I wish there was. Is UHS an accredited facility, with professionals that are trained and working to help your child? Yes. Sometimes all we can expect is that they are trying.

UHS facilities are not on www.natsap.org "The National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs (NATSAP) represents a variety of programs and schools providing
treatment to over 4,600 clients across North America. Our members include therapeutic schools, residential treatment schools, wilderness programs, outdoor therapeutic programs, young adult programs, and home-based residential programs working with troubled teens and troubled adolescents. Our programs are dedicated to providing the highest quality services to the people and families they serve." The reason UHS is not on NATSAP is because it is a hospital type facility rather than a therapeutic school and program. They handle acute and long-term care, whereas the NATSAP programs tend to handle shorter term and non-acute cases. I would recommend UHS if you are looking for a program for your child or teen who is having acute mental health or long term mental health issues and you may even get your insurance to cover some of it.

There is not one place that will be perfect for your child to get help and recover from a mental illness. I always said if money were no object, the best place in the world would have been for him to stay at home with live in mental health staff to help with care and day programs to attend with other youth struggling with similar issues, but unfortunately, this type of care is nearly impossible to get. It was impossible for me to help my son with all of his issues and keep him safe without outside help.

Everyone must do what they feel is right for their child. Everyone's situation is different, but we can all learn from the experiences of others for the welfare of our children's future.

0 Comments

Why Do Teens Resort to Murder?

10/27/2014

0 Comments

I was deeply disturbed when I heard of the newest school shooting by a 14 year old boy.

When young people are in distress about their lives or relationships, why do they resort to murder?

No one seems to know the answer to this question. The topics of bullying, violence in the media, absence of a moral compass, lack of role models, divorce, and availability of weapons are on the top of the lists on why teens kill. Your child doesn't get up the morning after you tell them you are getting divorced, go to school, and shoot people. The reasons are multifaceted, developing over years.

What can you do? Talk to your children. Communicate with them about anything you can, let them know that you care and that you are interested in them. Tell them how you feel about what is going on in the world, ask for their opinion, validate their feelings.

Is this going to solve the problems? No, but it could be a start, a small start could be all it takes.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." --Lao-tzu

0 Comments

Abusive Relationships

10/23/2014

1 Comment

Do you know what an abusive relationship looks like? It may not be what you think. People in abusive relationships often are in denial about their relationship. In a story I read, the author describes her abusive relationship.

"Our first year of marriage was hellish. We fought constantly. My new husband was not as caring as he was when we had gotten married; instead he turned cruel, moody and unpredictable. He was constantly sarcastic and criticizing. When I was upset by his negative comments he would justify them by saying he was joking and I didn’t have a sense of humor. I had a nagging feeling that my marriage wasn’t supposed to be so tumultuous. I couldn’t understand what was happening in our life. I felt so demoralized I didn’t realize he was constantly being abusive toward me. I would always blame myself and wonder why our relationship wasn’t working when I was trying so hard."

After years of abuse, the author finally finds the courage to seek the help of a social worker at a women's crisis center.

     "I’m not sure where I began, but I sat in that office for three hours and told her my story. She listened carefully and made notes now and then.
     Occasionally she stopped me and asked questions. At one point she stopped me and said to her trainee, “Can you feel how the atmosphere in the room has changed? There is an electric charge in the air.”
     I knew I had goose bumps and was having a hard time telling my tale. I realized they were drawn into it as well.
     I was coming to the end of the story of my abusive relationship. When I got to the part about my husband blaming me for the way he felt and saying I made him suicidal she stopped me.
     She put her hand up as if stopping traffic and said, “Stop! I am going to have to stop you now and tell you that I cannot keep this confidential. I am going to have to report this, because I believe that you and your children are at risk if you remain in your house.” She went on to tell me that I was an adult, and if I chose to stay in the home, it was my choice, but the children would not be permitted to stay in a potentially dangerous situation.
     I was stunned. Why did my statement give her pause?
     She explained that my husband was obviously abusive, but when he declared he was suicidal and it was my fault, she believed it was a big warning sign. He was thinking about wanting to die and he was blaming me for his feelings. She thought maybe he felt trapped and would hurt the children and me because he was unstable. It was all speculation on her part, but she was trained for such situations and she had seen the scenario many times.
     All the tension and fear that had been building inside me seeped from my eyes in the form of tears and ran down my cheeks. I knew I could not lose my self-control here and now. I had an enormous amount to do. I swallowed back the flood that was trying to erupt, and I contained my emotions. I locked them up and put them away for later. I could do what I had to do. I was strong, I told myself."

There are many warning signs of abuse in a relationship. The website lifetips has some great information.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Abusive relationships are progressive. They do not begin with physical or sexual violence. Instead, tactics are used to gain control over the victim before hitting, kicking, biting, pushing or unwanted sexual activity is introduced. The following are signs of an abusive relationship.

Emotional Abuse (name calling, criticizing, “joking” in a demeaning or embarrassing way)
Intimidation (uses threats, looks or gestures to scare partner; breaking objects)
Isolation (uses jealousy to control what partner does, who he/she sees, where he/she goes)
Denies Responsibility (minimizes, denies or blames partner for emotions and behavior
Uses Children (threatens to harm the children or take them away from the partner
Financial Control (keeps partner from working or takes paychecks; demands account of all spending)

Abusive Personality

There are signs that can help you spot someone with an abusive personality. The earlier you become aware of these red flags, the easier it is to get out of the relationship. Take notice if the person you are involved with displays the following abusive personality traits.

Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
Pushes for quick and intense involvement
Seems too good to be true
Blames others for actions
Needs to be in control
Unrealistic expectations of the relationship
Easily upset or angered
Inability to respect partner's boundaries, privacy, need for separate activities or identity
History of violent behavior

Check out the link below to read the whole article, including leaving an abusive relationship and teens in an abusive relationship.
http://relationship.lifetips.com/cat/64781/abusive-relationships/index.html

Another site I found that had simple, easy to read information was wikihow (if you can look past the freakishly large and odd cartoon pictures). My favorite part of this article was in the recognizing deal breakers section: "Trust your instincts. While these warning signs and deal breakers are fairly definitive signs of a manipulative and abusive partner, these things can still be ambiguous, clouded by conflicted feelings, and difficult to detect. The best way to determine whether or not you're in a potentially abusive relationship? Trust your gut. If someone gives you a sinking feeling, fills you with a sense of foreboding, take it as a sign. You don't have to put a name on it to know when something just isn't right."

Read the whole article at http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Potentially-Abusive-Relationship

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship seek out help and advice from a professional, as you can see there is a lot of information to be found on the internet.
Remember, listen to your inner voice, it is there for a reason. Don't ignore it and pretend all is fine, if in doubt all is probably not fine.

1 Comment

Life and Death

10/21/2014

0 Comments

It was a strange weekend. One day I attended a funeral and the next day I celebrated my birthday. It made me think about life and death. The ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, said, "Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides." This is a very interesting and profound statement that should be given a lot of thought. It reminds me of watching people coming and going, depending on which side you are watching from determines whether they are coming or going.

We do not know what death brings, but hopefully it brings peace and serenity. Life on the other hand can bring many things and much of it depends on what we bring to life. Make your life worth living. Are you coming or going?

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

0 Comments

Happy Birthday to Me!

10/19/2014

0 Comments

It was my birthday this weekend. A time to relax, contemplate, and be grateful for my life and those who share it with me.

0 Comments

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one."

10/13/2014

0 Comments

A dear friend of mine died on Friday. I knew this man for ten years, he was my husband's closest friend of twenty years. He introduced my husband to me and acquired his notary license in order to marry us in 2005. He was a remarkable man who has been in our lives for many events, and now he is gone. I believe the quote below from Lemony Snicket's book Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, sums up how I felt about his death.

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

Remember how short life is and that there are no do-overs in death. In the famous words of Mark Twain,
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

My dear friend, you will be truly missed by all who were lucky enough to know you.

0 Comments

World Mental Health Day

10/10/2014

0 Comments

World Mental Health Day is observed on 10 October every year, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.

The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide.

The theme for 2014 is “Living with schizophrenia”. The focus of the World Health Organization will be living a healthy life with schizophrenia.
http://www.who.int/mental_health/world-mental-health-day/2014/en/

The website psychcentral contained an interesting blog about mental illness by Margarita Tartakovsky, MS stating that ,"many people with mental illness internalize society’s negative attitudes and start feeling shame. Many don’t seek help. Because there isn’t just a stigma against mental illness in our society; there’s also a stigma against seeking help.

One myth, for instance, is if you seek therapy, then you must be weak. Because you can’t fix whatever it is on your own. Because strong people pick themselves up, dust themselves off and use their strong will to barrel through their problems.

Strong people also don’t take medication, which is seen as a quick fix, a cop-out.

But would we expect a person with diabetes to survive without insulin? Is taking insulin taking the easy way out? Should a person, instead, barrel through roller-coaster blood sugar levels, willing them back to a normal range?

Would we expect someone to just deal with the pain of a broken leg without seeking medical attention? Would we expect someone to ignore a lump in their breast or merely think it away?

Unfortunately, there’s a massive double standard with mental illness. We assume these disorders are simply in a person’s 'head.'”
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2014/10/world-mental-health-day-on-stigma/

When my own son was struggling through difficult times I wanted him to have an MRI because I thought a brain tumor would have been easier to accept. You can look at the cells and physically see and diagnose a tumor. Depression, psychosis, dissociation, suicidal ideation, self-harming, those afflictions don’t show up on an MRI and are harder to understand and treat successfully.

I wanted my son's illness to be physical, not this intangible mental condition. I did not want to be the mother of a child with a mental illness. I wanted to run away from it, as I had wanted to run away from all of the symptoms he had displayed in the past, but I couldn’t. I needed to embrace and accept his illness. Mental illness is an intimidating disease that people shy away from, but it is only a disease and it can be treated. It is challenging, because we can’t see it or sometimes even diagnose it. Everyone wants to look at their illness on an x-ray or a scan and say, “There it is.” People with mental illness are denied that satisfaction. There isn’t anything to look at and see, to touch or quantify; it’s simply there.

In 1956, Mental Health America forged a bell from the iron chains and shackles that had previously bound the mentally ill. The bell is used as a symbol of hope to remind us that, “The invisible chains of misunderstanding and discrimination continue to bind people with mental illnesses and addictions.” We need to help people break free of those bonds in order to gain the support they need in a world where mental illness is not something they hide from or are embarrassed by, but rather an illness in need of a treatment.

0 Comments

October 09th, 2014

10/9/2014

0 Comments

It's Not Called Electric Shock Therapy

10/2/2014

0 Comments

I watched a new episode of the series Sleepy Hollow last night and was offended by the use of the term electric shock for a medical procedure. They mentioned it as if a doctor in the hospital would perform such a procedure as a form of torture.

An online article by WebMD states:

"For most people, the term 'shock treatment' conjures Hollywood-inspired images of torture. Hard-to-watch scenes from movies like A Beautiful Mind and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest give the impression that the therapy is a primitive throwback to a time when clinicians had little to offer their depressed patients.

But electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is still being used -- more in Europe than the United States -- and it may be the most effective short-term treatment for some patients with depressive symptoms, a newly published review in the journal The Lancet suggests. Researchers concluded that ECT remains an important treatment option for the management of severe depression.

'Despite its image, ECT is a sophisticated and complex treatment that can be especially useful in patients who are not helped by drug therapy,' researcher John Geddes, MD, of the University of Oxford in England, tells WebMD. 'But clinicians who give it need to be well trained, and the treatment needs to be tailored to the individual patient.'

The patient most likely to benefit from electroconvulsive therapy is one who is severely depressed, has not responded to drugs, and is suicidal, says well-known psychiatrist and ECT advocate E. Fuller Torrey, MD. Simply changing this patient's medication may not be enough if the patient is an immediate danger to himself. Torrey is the executive director of the Stanley Medical Research Institute in Bethesda, Md.

'ECT can literally be lifesaving for someone in this situation because it works almost immediately,' he tells WebMD. 'It takes a week or so to determine if a drug is going to work, so you can put someone on a drug on Monday, but they may hang themselves on Wednesday.'

Other patients who may benefit include those in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder who have not responded to other treatments and possibly certain schizophrenic patients who are not helped by drugs.

Torrey says electroconvulsive therapy is underutilized in the United States because it is still widely perceived by the public as 'something akin to a medieval torture.'That image has been fostered, he say, by well-funded opponents of ECT and psychiatry in general and by inaccurate Hollywood portrayals of the procedure, which typically show patients writhing in agony. In real life, ECT is done under general anesthesia so patients are unconscious during treatment."

http://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20030306/shock-therapy-still-here-still-used

So, don't be fooled by Hollywood's attempt to make ECT into something used for torture. If someone were using electric shock on a person it would be considered torture, not a medical treatment. Let's keep our facts straight and reduce stigma.

The images of ECT no longer have to be disturbing and frightening. It is a medical procedure like many others creating good results, but also having possible side effects.
So, don't be fooled by Hollywood's attempt to make ECT into something used for torture. If someone were using electric shock on a person it would be considered torture, not a medical treatment. Let's keep our facts straight and reduce stigma.

0 Comments

Residential Treatment Center part 3

Why Do Teens Resort to Murder?

Abusive Relationships

Life and Death

Happy Birthday to Me!

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one."

World Mental Health Day

October 09th, 2014

It's Not Called Electric Shock Therapy

Archives

Click on the RSS Feed link above to follow my blog

Click on the All word below to view all blogs in a given year

Author Note

Archives

Click on the RSS Feed link above to follow my blogClick on the All word below to view all blogs in a given year

Author Note

Click on the RSS Feed link above to follow my blog

Click on the All word below to view all blogs in a given year