Words Can Kill

On July 12, 2014 18-year-old Conrad Roy III took his life after struggling for many months with suicidal ideation, depression and social anxiety. He was found alone in his truck, having died from carbon monoxide poisoning, yet he wasn’t alone when he died, his girlfriend was “virtually present” in the truck with him.

Weeks before Conrad took his life, Michelle Carter, Conrad’s girlfriend, taunted and berated him to kill himself, saying, “Just do it.” After two years, she was tired of listening to his problems and tired of hearing him say that he wanted to die.

In multiple text messages, she pushed him, and having researched suicide, she suggested ways for him to die saying, “Hanging is painless and take like a second if you do it right.”

The day Conrad lost his life he sat in his truck and became sick from the poisonous gas. He got out of the vehicle and texted Michelle. Instead of helping him, calling the police or telling someone- anyone-that he needed help, she ordered him to “get back in.” And then she did nothing.

Her defense attorneys relied on the testimony of psychiatrist Peter Breggin who stated that Michelle was “involuntarily intoxicated” and “enmeshed in delusion” by, Celexa, an antidepressant medication she started taking months before Conrad’s death. Dr. Breggin implied that Michelle wasn’t in her right mind and that she believed Conrad would be better off dead.

But was this true, or just an excuse for a young girl who had gone too far?

On June 16, 2017, almost three years after Conrad’s death, Juvenile Court Judge Lawrence Moniz ruled on the three words Michelle said to Conrad on the day he died, “get back in.” Michelle Carter was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. Judge Lawrence said those words established “wanton and reckless conduct.”

Maybe the old adage, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me,” is not true.

Can words kill?

According to Susan C. Jacobsen, the Mental Health Association of Rhode Island’s executive director, “Language is one of the ways that we dehumanize people. It’s the mechanism of oppression and dehumanization. The way that we talk about things frames the way we think about things.”

This applies in all aspects of our lives. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a sibling or a friend. What we say about and to another human being can shape how we feel about ourselves and others. Words can dehumanize people.

Thinking about what we say and how it may affect someone else is important. The language we use can lift someone up or bring them down. It is a powerful tool and must be used wisely.

James McNulty, head of the Mental Health Consumer Advocates of Rhode Island and a national authority on mental health said, “Words make a difference. They help us in how we think about ourselves and about others.”

Most of us would not make the same choices that Michelle Carter made, but we must all remember that the words we use can affect others in ways we never knew possible.

So, choose your words carefully.