We read a book for book club this month with a moral, parental dilemma and it steered our topic toward how parents are raising their children today. I posted the silly picture a while back showing the 1960's parents scolding their child when he brings home a bad grade and the 2010's parents scolding the teacher for the same act. Sadly this is more accurate than we want to admit.
When did this change? When did parents become "curlers?" According to Wikipedia "Curling is a sport in which players slide stones on a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four concentric circles. The curler can induce a curved path by causing the stone to slowly turn as it slides, and the path of the rock may be further influenced by two sweepers with brooms who accompany it as it slides down the sheet, using the brooms to alter the state of the ice in front of the stone. A great deal of strategy and teamwork go into choosing the ideal path and placement of a stone for each situation, and the skills of the curlers determine how close to the desired result the stone will achieve."
"Danish psychologist Bent Hougaard coined the term 'Curling Parent' to refer to those parents who insist on sweeping everything that may get in the way of their child, their own polished stone. Such parents are excessive hoverers, continually making sure that nothing is interfering with or negatively affecting their child. They are always sweeping. Another term that even the colleges are referring to with increased frequency are 'Lawnmower Parents.' Like the Curlers, the Lawnmower Parents look to smooth down and mow over all obstacles that could be in the young person’s path. Such parents may attempt to call the college professors about their child receiving an unsatisfactory grade."--Dr. Richard Selznick
Well wouldn't it be nice to have obstacles in our path of achievement, progress, and fulfillment removed. Or would it? What foundation would you have as an adult if you never dealt with negative situations? How would you interact with peers, co-workers, and significant others if you never had to suffer distractions, consequences, or unpleasant situations?
Why on earth would we want our children to go out into the world unprepared? This is what these curling and lawnmowing parents are doing. They are taking over their children's lives, their freedom, their accountability, and their right to make choices and learn from them, whether good or bad. And this is not a good thing, in fact it is a very, very bad thing.
The children of these type of parents are put under an enormous amount of pressure to be "perfect" in every aspect of their lives--social, sports, and academic. If they don't live up to the perfection they often become depressed, have anxiety, or worse commit suicide.
Don't smooth down the "rocky" path for your children. That path is there to give them strength, courage, and determination. Let them climb over and go around the "bumps" in their road, they will thank you later.
When did this change? When did parents become "curlers?" According to Wikipedia "Curling is a sport in which players slide stones on a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four concentric circles. The curler can induce a curved path by causing the stone to slowly turn as it slides, and the path of the rock may be further influenced by two sweepers with brooms who accompany it as it slides down the sheet, using the brooms to alter the state of the ice in front of the stone. A great deal of strategy and teamwork go into choosing the ideal path and placement of a stone for each situation, and the skills of the curlers determine how close to the desired result the stone will achieve."
"Danish psychologist Bent Hougaard coined the term 'Curling Parent' to refer to those parents who insist on sweeping everything that may get in the way of their child, their own polished stone. Such parents are excessive hoverers, continually making sure that nothing is interfering with or negatively affecting their child. They are always sweeping. Another term that even the colleges are referring to with increased frequency are 'Lawnmower Parents.' Like the Curlers, the Lawnmower Parents look to smooth down and mow over all obstacles that could be in the young person’s path. Such parents may attempt to call the college professors about their child receiving an unsatisfactory grade."--Dr. Richard Selznick
Well wouldn't it be nice to have obstacles in our path of achievement, progress, and fulfillment removed. Or would it? What foundation would you have as an adult if you never dealt with negative situations? How would you interact with peers, co-workers, and significant others if you never had to suffer distractions, consequences, or unpleasant situations?
Why on earth would we want our children to go out into the world unprepared? This is what these curling and lawnmowing parents are doing. They are taking over their children's lives, their freedom, their accountability, and their right to make choices and learn from them, whether good or bad. And this is not a good thing, in fact it is a very, very bad thing.
The children of these type of parents are put under an enormous amount of pressure to be "perfect" in every aspect of their lives--social, sports, and academic. If they don't live up to the perfection they often become depressed, have anxiety, or worse commit suicide.
Don't smooth down the "rocky" path for your children. That path is there to give them strength, courage, and determination. Let them climb over and go around the "bumps" in their road, they will thank you later.
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